Claudius - Born Into Wealth and Privilege
by Jim Flynn
Claudius, ruler of the Roman empire for over twelve years, from 41ce to 54ce, was born into wealth and privilege. Claudius was a strong healthy baby but, several childhood diseases left baby Claudius so weak that the family felt their only health option was to place him on a rock in the hot sun. His fate would be determined by the elements, wild beasts and vultures.
Family and friends watched from a distance as an eagle circling above swooped down, grasped the sickly infant in its huge talons and flew away. Travelling only a short distance the, raptor dropped the child in the center of a pack of wolves. If you find it hard to suspend disbelief this time, please remember, there is no record of healthy wolves ever attacking a human. A soothsayer, who was an invited guest to the event, pointed out the historic connection, eagle and wolf, Remus and Romulus.
The iconic moment saved Claudius and marked him as a future Roman leader. The sickness left him with several disabilities. The infant must have been unbelievably strong to survive what was handed to him in life. Poor Claudius was left hearing impaired. His gate was irregular, he lacked normal balance, he trembled and stammered. He frothed at the mouth when excited. Growing to adulthood, he was ostracized by the royal family, and was constantly insulted by family and friends alike. The child's paternal grandmother Livia, typical of grandmas through the ages, ensured that he received the best education. As he matured, his educational interests were philosophy, history and law.
He loved rich foods and attended lavish banquets frequently. He was tall, muscular and slender from working livestock as a youth. He was often absent minded and forgetful. He was often confused and contradicted himself in the same sentence.
The day after he had his third wife executed, he wondered why she wasn't at an event. That was typical of his thought process.
Claudius was a womanizer. He allowed himself to be manipulated and dominated by women and wives. They viewed him as paranoid, apathetic, dull and easily confused.
From the first day he became Emperor he wrote executive orders, called edicts. He wrote more than 20 per day for thirteen years of very wonky leadership. They were simple and to the point, some only 124 characters long. The Emperor's favorite issues were taxes and health care.
His ideas on health care for the people may ring a familiar bell. He proposed drinking a special fruit juice to cure snake bite. Another of his health care edicts declared that public flatulence was good for health.
When Claudius was 50 years old his condition improved but he was still subject to ridicule and humiliation. His teenage nephew, Emperor Caligula, a victim of severe child abuse, whom everyone hated, took special enjoyment from publicly humiliating his uncle.
In the interim, the Roman citizenry wanted to make Rome great again by doing away with the empirical system. The Senate, the Army and the Praetorian Guard and the people were all opposed to Caligula. He was considered an outsider to the imperial beltway. He was born in Gaul not Rome. Claudius was by now a prolific influential author with many friends.
There was a coup by the Praetorian Guard in collusion with the Senate. Claudius was saved from the bloodshed by a friend in the Guard. For his safety he was taken to an army camp. The army was deciding what to do with him when he offered a fantastic deal involving higher wages and better benefits. The soldiers took the deal. The army made Claudius the Emperor of Rome. Everyone thought it was a joke and he wouldn't last long.
He was married four times and had children with each wife. He thought his first wife, before becoming Emperor, was the love of his life. Unfortunately, once Claudius was declared Emperor, she disappeared into antiquity. You would probably agree that his second was the psycho bitch from hell. Claudius' third wife was executed after a takeover conspiracy, he facetiously made the Praetorians promise to kill him if he ever married again. There was no need for that. His fourth wife, mother of his adopted son Nero, was cleared of any involvement in what was found to be death from natual causes.